"I'm writing you from prison, yeah I'm writing from the streets, where I learn to get away for awhile and shoot down your selfish dreams."
So today has been interesting. I'm up at 11, still working on school. A victory for me. I also reignited a passion that has been missing from my life for awhile. Where was it first semester? I also realized how much of a trophy I am to my parents. I mean there are some things that it's okay to be happy about, and even occasionally proud, but I don't want to be another bumper sticker on the back of my mom's mini-van. They keep telling me how much they can't wait to know where I'm going to college, and I can't help but wonder if it's because they want to know how much scholarship money I'm going to get, or which name-brand college they'll get to proclaim to all of their colleagues. I'm in this for myself. Not for them. But I'm sure they'll be ecstatic when I tell them that I want to go to Stanford University for graduate school. I know they have the right intentions when we have conversations like the one from the other night where my mom told me that she would have rather me go to a school on an athletic scholarship than a merit-based one. I couldn't believe her reasonings. I'd rather be known as a nerd and go on a merit-based scholarship than have to worry about people wondering whether or not I deserve to be there. I'd rather disappoint intellectually under a nerd label, like my parents always assume I will, than walk into a room knowing that everyone assumes that I'm set up for failure. I'd rather surprise myself on a merit-scholarship than fight the uphill battle of any other kind just to appear up to par. Actually, I'd rahter just surprise myself period. But I guess we're just going to see how long I can keep this staying awake thing going for, where I get in, and if I get any scholarships to see what kind of surprises the future may hold in store.
Currently listening:Marching Bands of Manhattan- Death Cab for Cutie
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