My PSA

"'Mon bon Monsieur,
Apprenez que tout flatteur
Vit aux dépens de celui qui l'écoute :
Cette leçon vaut bien un fromage, sans doute.'
Le Corbeau, honteux et confus,
Jura, mais un peu tard, qu'on ne l'y prendrait plus."

Flattery won't get you everywhere.

If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march out, they would make your name sing

Notte Sento (English subtitles) from napdan on Vimeo.

So I just finished brainstorming and writing the rough draft for my paper, so it means that I finally came up with an answer. If I could choose to live with my false reality or learn the truth, I think I would rather live in my own reality (as is probably evidenced by my previous post). I thought that this video was beautiful and proves that you can live in your dilusions, even though it did remind me of how much I wish I could be a quiet, cute, artsy chick. I've heard so much about sexy minnie mice this week that I wonder how I might ever become one. Would you like me less if I became the quiet, cute, artsy girl? or more?

Try as they might no one's immune to misfiring and acting on the wrong clues

Here's the English paper I'm working on right now. At first I wanted to do a different question because I thought it would be easier, but after a while I realized that this prompt may be the only question where I may actually learn something.

What if you discovered that what you perceive as reality is really only shadows. If you were given the opportunity to learn the truth, would you take it?

These past few days have really messed with my perception of life. I'm not entirely sure why or how, I just know that, well, I really don't know much of anything, except when it comes to school (there I make it rain). I realized that i'm not immune to playing games. In fact, I've been wrapped up in multiple lately. And I've also realized how wrapped up I am in my own success. Today I almost had two panic attacks because I received e-mails from two other universities that I applied to- George Washington and Columbia. I'll be getting George Washington's decision tomorrow and Columbia's in a week. I also realized how high my hopes get for every little thing. I just hope that when I graduate I'll be able to breathe and experience real life again.
On the plus side, sometimes my dillusions lead to happiness. Today I got an e-mail from my idol, and if I told you who she is I would be labeled a huge dork so I won't. But the fact was that I e-mailed her hoping for the small chance that she might answer me back with a legitimate answer to my question, and she did!

Currently listening:See These Bones- Nada Surf

I've been jumping of the tops of buildings for the thrill of the fall, ignoring sound advice and any thought of consequence

This weekend was amazing. For all intensive purposes, it should be labeled as bad, but I've had this intense happy buzzing aura around me all day today, and looking back at yesterday, it all just comes off as a really good weekend. It definitely could have been better, but I'm so happy right now, I'm just ecstatic about what has happened and unconcerned with what didn't happen.

Lessons learned this weekend:
• Just go for it.
• Sometimes making good choices isn't always the best choice.
• Seriously, just go for it.

It'll be really interesting to see what happens as a result of this weekend.

Currently listening:Autumn- Sparks the Rescue


<3.
Enough said.

She keeps up on current affairs, Prada is what she wears

So it took some cajoling by a friend who saw my blog to get me to post this, but I've agreed to posting the sketches of designs I've made. Please don't judge, I've never taken an art class and these are just what I dream up when I watch old reruns of Project Runway. Here's a few that I have scanned from my sketchbook:

The party is on but you can sit at home in silence

Last night I made the mistake of going to bed angry. Don't get me wrong, I was really angry for an extremely valid reason, but I paid the price today. I was so worked up about everything from yesterday that I had a really hard time just enjoying what I was doing today. I just hope that tonight I can go to a show and forget all about the things I've been so pissed about. I really need to go to a show, or a vacation, or both. A trip up to Dallas for a show sounds amazing right about now. I could go up to Dallas take in some amazing music, feel what it's like to get ready for something other than school for once, and chill with my new friends. I kind of regret not applying to Southern Methodist University now, but I have some hope that no matter where I go I'll be able to have some sort of Dallas atmosphere around me. Speaking of universities, I was accepted into Syracuse University! I found out last night via email. Still waiting on the other schools' replies though. It's such a relief to know that I am accepted somewhere.

Currently listening:Mind Over Matter- First Class Fever

Keeping you out of my head is impossible

Things have been a little shaky around here lately. It seems like the key word for life these past couple of days has been disappointment. I really hate that word. It's probably my least favorite in the English language. So then it becomes a double-edged sword because by trying to avoid it in one form, I get it in another. One thing that finally hasn't disappointed me- my closet. I read an article about shopping for clothes in your own closet during these harsh economic times, and I think the whole concept really personifies what I've already employed as my fashion motto for seemingly my whole life. It's cool to be so trend setting haha. Speaking of trend setting, I love how it's been almost exactly a year and people are now taking the marching band/military jacket style I was rocking last year and putting it in magazines everywhere. I guess if I wanted to be super trendy I could go shopping in my own closet to go find it, but I think I gave mine back to the consignment boutique after I was done with this phase last year. Styles I genuinely enjoyed putting on: yesterday & this morning:


Currently listening:This Airplane Is a Ribbon- Sherwood

I've spent enough sleepless nights in this bed

So I thought I would post this before I compeletely crash from the latest caffeine rush. Today was so-so. I got a ton done with school stuff, but at the same time there's still so much to do I could scream. That and now I have my mom feeling like she has to get involved in my school life which is ridiculous considering that she has been almost completely removed since I finished freshman year. On top of that I feel really bad that I had to open a second rejection letter in front of her today. I knew it was coming, but she had a lot more confidence in me than I do, which also seems really weird because most of the time she seems like my harshest critic, except for maybe myself. Today I was really inspired to do something with myself. I wrote the words for a piece of art I'm going to make out. I got farther on my architecture project. I got a huge item off of my to-do list once and for all. I made a really good tasting pot of coffee. I stood up for myself today. I was inspired by others. I finished 90% of my new wall collage. I painted my nails. I did my work during class. Today was a good day, and the lows are not going to take away from my highs.
Inspiration for today's outfit:

Currently listening:Where Love Went Wrong- Augustana

Finally updated my room. It seems like just yesterday that I painted the concentric rectangles and hung up the plastic contatiners, but I got tired of it really quickly. So I repainted the wall beige with the grey-beige stripe and left the words ["Listen up boys and girls, you only live once, so just give it all you've got. This is where we write on the walls, write all the words we've always wanted to say. I'm gonna break the expectations. I'm here to make memories..."] Now it's got a giant collage made of the plastic containers nad black and white prints. Most of the prints are pictures of paris that I bought from IKEA after my trip to Paris, but there's also a huge picture that's actually an old advertisement from Levi's Jeans that I bought from Mervyn's for maybe $5 when they were going out of business and got so desperate that they didn't care if customers purchased clothing or clothing racks. Now the question is what to do with the other wall. I'm thinking that it's going to need some rearranging also. I just realized that I haven't posted any pictures of my room period. I think it's funny that more people know what my dorm room bed looks like than my bedroom... woah, that sounded funny haha. Oh well, I'm keeping it. [I'll post pics up in a few minutes when I finish making my bed and clean up the painting supplies.]


Currently listening:Wanted You- The Secret Handshake

Yeah he's a looker, but I really think it's guts that matter most

I'm really excited about all of this college stuff, even through the highs and lows. This is the reply that I got in the forum of Domino magazine (my favorite magazine ever, which is sadly shutting down soon). It's so cool that readers of the same magazine think that my future dorm room already looks cool! And it's nice to see that they're nice enough to offer some really good advice. I'll post more if I get any more good replies!

Currently listening:Not Invited- Rediscover

You're Awful, I Love You

I hate how all of my relationships have turned from love to love/hate. I think most recently every single person around me has decided that they are somehow going to make my relationship extremely difficult in some way or another. Yet, I've also discovered that no matter how much hate goes into my love/hate relationships, there is just too much love, or need for love, to let any one of them go. So please, if you're reading this... take it easy on me please.
Another love/hate relationship right now... my closet. Need to find something to revamp my enthusiasm for the clothes I've had since forever. The 365 days of style challenge is losing some steam, and it's kind of made me feel like a loser when I realized that I don't even go out 365 days of the year. Maybe I can make myself feel better and go on a super thrift store shopping spree and find something mega cool for SXSW.

Currently listening:Sundress- Ben Kweller

Sweet like pollen, sweet like cheesecake

Some bitter news today for me. I just purchased the last issue of Domino magazine. I hate that the recession seems to make everyone think that they can no longer afford to be creative and be themselves. So no more Domino, no more Blueprint. How am I going to get my inspiration nowadays without spending countless hours on etsy.com? It's sad becasue I came back from colorado ready to make a change to my room and now I feel like I don't have the same kind of outlet anymore. I can't wait to go to college where I can continuously change things. I also can't wait to find out where I'm going to college. Prepare yourself to be hearing that alot in the next few weeks.
On another note, I can't wait to head off to college just to start a clean slate. Actually, we'll just call it a continuation of the slate. I think that the closer I get to leaving the more excited I am about being able to be more me. Does that make any sense? I'm really excited because I want to be able to start a new closet and have new surroundings and be able to try new talents. I've actually been dying to try art, especially after a TON of people have been telling me that I should really think about doing art as a side project (like designing more regular wear shirts and selling them). I actually think it would be pretty cool to start making my own things like art and clothing, even if I didn't sell them. Although how cool would it be to say that I was able to pay part of my way through school just by being me?! In related news, I might start a job as a nanny for a girl who is less than two years old. I'd have to leave school to pick her up from daycare and then spend a few hours with her a night. I think it might be really interesting. I mean I'm no mom, but I think it would be cool to spend time taking care of a little kid. I think I could learn a lot and who knows, maybe this could change my future in some way... like kids clothing, artwork, or changing my mind about wanting to be a mom haha.
Going now to change something about my room. Not sure what it is yet. I think I'll paint or draw. If I change anything major I'll post pictures!

Currently listening:Bye Simple (First Mix)- Kill Paradise

Put out the fire on us...

So today was great for a variety of reasons...
1. I found another totally random thing to put on my bucket list: Learn how to make a really good cupcake.
2. I actually understood what was going on in calculus
3. I woke up on time and did my makeup work
4. I talked to my calculus teacher and she actually complimented me :]
5. I got truly excited about the ski trip
6. I think I did well on my biology test
7. I realized i have some very good options
8. I got the best news in a really long time
9. I found out that one friendship wasn't an illusion
10. I think I'm officially off of punishment... well considering that my dad randomly asked me if I like Breathe Carolina and when I responded "Are you kidding me?! I love them!" He said "Oops. Well they're playing a show tonight." Like there was some small smidge of a chance that I might have gone.
I'm sad that I missed the Take Action! Tour, but I'm glad to know that I should be good for SXSW :]

The only downers to my day... allergies, really bad allergies. I'm actually sitting here with my eyes watering and my nose running and a box of tissues next to me. I've sneezed at least 5 times in the 3 minutes it has taken me to write all of this. I feel so bad, but really happy. Oh and my sunburn is still an annoying color of red. On the plus side, I can't feel it anymore. No heat, no burning, no pain, just an aggravating color.

Currently listening:Song Beneath the Song- Maria Taylor

we've only got time for blue skies so kid you better live up and go full speed ahead

That's exactly what I did today. Enough said.

Can't wait to go to Colorado! I bought most of my snoawboarding gear tonight and I think I'll probably buy another hoodie and scarf or two. Total snow bunny. Can't wait to post some pictures!
But mostly can't wait to be off of punishment. Today was the biggest testament to that. I just have to get through the next two days and I should be home free.

Currently listening:An Attempt to Say- A Bird A Sparrow

I don't know which is more tormenting... thinking there's no way I'm going to be able to see them today or knowing that I'm probably not going to see them for very long. It's so hard because I am seriously two days away from being off of grounding, but I still have so much to do. When I got out of my car at school this morning Gabriela seriously said "Wow. You're going to knock their socks of... No, you're going to blow them away." I honestly don't care what happens. I just want to see them again :]

So whose to blame for who gets burned for holding you?

God this was a rollercoaster weekend. Funeral & Hate & Love.
There's so much I want to tell people, but just can't right now and I feel like I'm going to explode! This is probably the reason people think that I'm too nice. I can't tell people the things they really need to hear in the way they need to hear it. So here it all goes in a mishmash of people and messages: [Stop trying to be my friend, I never wanted to talk to you in the first place. I'm never going to go out with you. You are so transparent, everyone always tells me how jealous you are of me, well you're not going to ever impress me if you keep acting this way, seriously less is more. You are so freaking bi-polar! You say you miss me and then you act like you don't know me when it comes time to hang out. I miss you so badly, but I'm starting to wonder if it's ever going to happen between us, I've stopped thinking about you so frequently and the sentimentality has faded away. I've barely talked to you lately, but I just know when we hang out it's like we're closer than we've ever been, so why do you always act like this? I feel like we should be friends, we're into the same things and we're friends with the same people, so why am I so afraid to talk to you? I really wish you were older so that, when I go out on dates with boys almost as old as you are, it won't feel as awkward for me and so that I won't think of them as unaccomplished next to you, I wish I could grow up to be someone like you professionally when I grow older just with political science. I know we just met, but I think that i could drop every other boy for you, and that's really saying something.] That was almost as good as saying it to their faces...

Anyway. I'm going to try and get back on my feet with this blog. Sometimes life just gets to me and I need to pause. Plus hopefully I'll color my hair and get it cut really soon. So new hair pics and more clothes pics should come soon I hope!

Currently listening:Such Great Heights- The Postal Service